Are you different from your family?
- Have you got your own plans for your future?
- Would you like to go to university although your family is against it?
- Are you being prevented from living as an emancipated and self-determined woman?
- Do you feel unloved, excluded or rejected? Are you treated like the black sheep in your family?
- Do you think that your family will never accept you as you are? For example, because you have different values or you are not religious?
- Do you have to pretend or hide?
You are ok as you are! You have the right to be treated with respect. You are allowed to decide yourself about your religion. In important decisions about your life and your future you do not have to take into account what your parents want.
If you are confused and do not know what to do, write to us! Together we can sort out your thoughts. Discussing this with a person outside your family can help.
Others have already been advised
At my home things are really shit. I am 17 and I will be 18 years old in two months. Although I am nearly adult, I am not allowed to go anywhere. It is no problem that I am not allowed to go out to parties, I don’t want to do that anyway. But I would like to sleep over at girlfriends’ places or to go on a class trip. I can’t stand it here anymore and would like to move out. My parents are a catastrophe. My father drinks and accuses me of things. My mother runs away as soon as there is any stress. No-one is interested in my opinion. Do I have to go to the Youth Office if I want to move out? I still go to school and I am doing my Abitur (A Levels) so I cannot afford an apartment. I don’t know what to do…
I am 21 years old and have grown up in a Muslim family. I have the feeling that I live in two worlds; in my world, where I can be who I am and then in the world of my parents. According to my parents I should only leave the house after I am married. Until then I am not allowed to do anything and I have no freedom. If I make the smallest mistake like coming home 5 minutes late my mother does not speak to me for weeks. My sister is the favourite child and spreads lies about me. I do not want to disappoint my parents but I have to hide a lot from them, such as that after work I do not wear the headscarf. They would never accept my as I really am. I fact I would like to go to university but my parents do not want me to. I do not want to have to do things in secret. I am psychologically at the end of my tether and I cry a lot. Why can’t my parents love me as I am? I don’t know what to do.